I thought maybe someday I'd have to commit suicide, but I never thought I'd have to grow up, or get rid of this stuff.
When you decide to tell the truth you never know what messed up thing is going to come out.
Is it possible for someone who is psychologically healthy and emotionally stable to be in love? One would like to think so. But that probably isn’t the case with this guy: “If I could choose a place to die, it would be in your arms. Do you want to see me crawl across the floor to you? Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back? I’m glad to do it, because I don’t want to fade away. Give me one more day please.” LAYLA was never one of my favorite albums but I’ve been listening to it lately to help me to fall asleep, and I’m hearing a lot of nice things in it. I think it’s the saddest albums I know about, for one thing. I didn’t know until recently that the guy who wrote and played the ending piano part on the song “Layla” killed his mother with a hammer 12 years later.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derek_and_the_Dominos
I guess it just goes to show that you never know who’s next. He was undiagnosed.
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
http://quotations.about.com/od/lovequotes/tp/10_lost_love.htm
I guess there will always be an argument to make about that. But it’s not like anyone has a choice. Or, maybe that’s wrong. I’ve met women who claim the ability to choose or not choose to fall in love. As a matter of fact, maybe that’s most people, or most women. Obviously I don’t know what I’m talking about, so I’ll move on.
I was in love with the cinema. And then it died and / or left me. I’ll figure that one out one of these days. Is it better to have known every possibility exists and then have them all taken away, or is it better to never have known they exist? The vision from the very heights of existence persists for a lifetime. It seems like a high price to pay for a temporary home.
http://womenshistory.about.com/cs/quotes/a/zelda_fitzg.htm
Sometimes I’d like to write like Zelda Fitzgerald. But, again, a high price there is to pay. Julia McAlee writes songs as inspired, but without the suggestion that to understand them one must risk institutionalization. But I don’t think her best work is on her site.
LOST TO LOVE now has eight parts. I discovered this by outlining the 985 events in the film and grouping them into beats, scenes, sub-sections, and then sections. 8 sections. I will put a fade out and fade in between each section. That will help the viewer to keep track of things, I hope. Ryan K. Adams and another producer both suggesting outlining the film before proceeding to the next level of cutting and I’m glad they did, because I was lost. Now I’m found. I’ve worked on the 5th section, and yesterday the 4th section. Not that these numbers mean anything to the reader, except to convey the impression, I hope, that I am organized and proceeding with due diligence.
In addition, I listen to music like LAYLA or EXILE ON MAIN STREET and I think about how I could make what makes those good make LOST TO LOVE good. Wim Wenders said that story in movies is like the drums in rock ‘n’ roll. So if I could make the story drum like Charlie Watts I think that would be good.
But I’ve never been happy with the idea of story. It has always seemed too facile a way to explain the way things are. But I think Wenders was saying that it keeps things together while you’re explaining the way things are by other, more mystery-laden means.
http://web.uvic.ca/geru/439/wenders.html
His earlier films had a great impact on me: THE AMERICAN FRIEND, KINGS OF THE ROAD, THE WRONG MOVE, ALICE IN THE CITIES, THE GOALIE’S ANXIETY AT THE PENALTY KICK. After a screening of KINGS OF THE ROAD at the New York Film Festival in the late 70’s I asked him if he wanted to see a band called The Ramones at CBGBs. He said he had some people he had to talk to. American rock ‘n’ roll played a big part in his life.
And then there was Antonioni.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/31/movies/31cnd-antonio.html